“Peter Is Giving Victoria F Way Too Much Credit”: Sharleen Joynt on The Bachelor Episode 8

I’ve been suspecting this for awhile, but after last night’s episode, it’s official: Victoria F is this season’s Luke P. She’s the contestant we just cannot get rid of, the season’s cat with nine lives. Peter won’t send this girl home, no matter how many alarming red flags she waves. And although her frustrating behaviour is of a slightly different breed than Luke P’s, a lot of the basics are the same: the perpetual victim mentality, the deflection of responsibility and blame, the manipulative gaslighting. Last night, Victoria F said (totally sincerely, by the way) that she “can’t walk away” from Peter, despite literally walking away on every date they’ve been on. She “disagreed” with Peter that she doesn’t fight for their relationship, yet in the same breath shouted, “I’m so done with this conversation!” Earlier this season, she had the gall to call Alayah the manipulative one. If watching Victoria F didn’t make my blood boil past what must be an unhealthy point, I might have been finding her antics cartoonish and hilarious at this point.

Victoria F’s showing—both in her behaviour and that of Peter’s handling of her behaviour—is proof that this show has been steering too young. (At least in terms of a successful engagement being the “goal”). Just imagine how different a season this would be with a lead and contestants in their 30s! I’m not kidding when I say I sometimes fantasize about the conversation that might take place, what the conflict would entail, how it would get resolved. (It’s a worthy fantasy; don’t judge me.) Trust me, I’m not giving Victoria F a free pass, blaming her awfulness on her age—if anything, she’s a very, very immature 26-year old. (There are PLENTY of 26-year olds who can have a cordial conversation when confronted with an unsavoury rumour.) It just seems to me like Victoria F hasn’t learned life’s crucial lessons yet. She hasn’t learned how to suppress her rage, how to respond to confrontation without automatic, knee-jerk retaliation. She hasn’t learned how to care about someone nearly as much as she cares for herself, nor has she considered how her destructive behaviour affects and hurts others. She has clearly never learned what it is to compromise. Her willingness to quite literally flee the scene every time a remotely deep or difficult conversation is in order says it all; She would rather lose Peter than be wrong. That is NOT love, and this woman is years away from the humility and confidence required for a sustainable, healthy relationship.

Read this next: Who Got Cut and Who’s Left Standing on The Bachelor Season 24

It takes two to tango, and Victoria F wouldn’t be occupying our screens the way she has been if it weren’t for Peter. I swear, I wanted to love Peter’s actions this week. I promise, I did! Despite my critical tone week after week, I am rooting for him to make the right choices towards making his own season more palatable. (OK, so my rooting might be self-serving, but it still counts.) In fact, after Peter left Victoria F’s “Hometown” during their fight in her driveway, I wrote in my notes: “Peter leaving here is the single best decision he’s made all season!” Needless to say, my heart sank when Victoria F appeared at his hotel room door the next day. (Seriously though, how great would it have been if he’d just peaced out on this relationship right then and there?! He would have righted all his wrongs in one fell swoop!) At least with Luke P, Hannah Brown routinely gave him the tongue lashing he deserved; she kept him because she had faith in the person he could be, but she didn’t put up with his bullshit along the way. Meanwhile, Peter’s faith in Victoria F continues to prove our faith in him as the Bachelor wrong. As much as Peter’s words suggest he’s ready for a life with someone, his patience for Victoria F tells us a different story. He’s far too easily manipulated, too easily distracted by her teary professions of “love” instead of holding her accountable for her appalling behaviour. Not only do these two not talk about anything (we’ve listened to so many words yet actually heard zero substance), Victoria F is actually kind of mean to Peter. She’s sweet and vulnerable only on her terms, and the second he inadvertently steps on the wrong eggshell, she treats him like he’s a monster.

The truth is, Peter is giving Victoria F WAY too much credit, associating her difficulties with what must be feelings of unworthiness. He considers her physically leaving the situation as her “pushing away” his love. Let’s be clear: Victoria F’s walking away from difficult conversations is base-level defensiveness, nothing more. People who really struggle with feeling unworthy sabotage their relationships in all sorts of ways, but especially when things are GOOD. Notice how Victoria F has no issue with Peter or their romance when things are going her way. When she gets dates, roses and general validation, she’s happy as a clam. Basically, as long as Peter validates her and doesn’t confront her about anything, she’s A-OK. It’s this woman’s way or the highway.

Read this next: Is There Going to Be a Bachelor-Kardashian Crossover??

I’m not saying Victoria F doesn’t struggle with some degree of insecurity, as it’s obvious she would behave very differently if she had the deep-seated contentment that comes with feeling self-assured and confident. However, insecurity is simply no excuse for this behaviour. You can be insecure and treat others with respect. You can be insecure and still have empathy for others (I’ll never forget how needlessly she ridiculed Mykenna). You can be insecure and accept responsibility. You can be insecure yet able to hold a basic conversation. You can be insecure and be a nice person! No, what Victoria F is, more so than insecure, is immature. Immature and, as far as being in the Bachelor bubble goes, downright mean. It actually concerns me that someone like her is likely racking up Instagram followers and building a sizeable army of supporters; that kind of support for bad behaviour will only delay (if not entirely cancel) the much needed personal growth that was formerly on the horizon for her.

Finally, I have to address Peter’s ex’s claim that Victoria F is a bad person who has a reputation for being a “home wrecker”. None of us were there and know specifics, but we do know this: If the truth is on your side, there’s nothing to hide. We know by now Victoria F relies heavily on a pattern of defensiveness, playing victim, fleeing the scene, and then apologizing weepily (in that order), all while never actually addressing the original claim. (This routine is VERY Luke P-esque.) This reactivity to Peter’s simple (and reasonable) concern over his ex’s warning told us more than the warning itself ever could. The innocent don’t rely on such smoke and mirrors; they want to talk, to explain themselves and lay bare that innocence. So while Victoria F probably thinks she dodged the bullet that was Peter’s ex’s accusation, it was she who added credence to it by reacting the way she did. Victoria F might not have ever technically answered Peter’s question, but through her teary song and dance, she absolutely did.

Read this next: Is This the Worst Group of Contestants in Bachelor History?

My predictions based on Episode 8 are…

Madison, 23

We seem to be barreling towards a major hurdle in this relationship—the fact that Madison is deeply religious and plans on remaining a virgin until marriage. This might’ve been a non-issue except for the fact that the previews show Madison saying, “I wouldn’t be able to move forward if you have slept with the other women.” Now, it’s possible this statement was frankenbitten and this doesn’t end up being the ultimatum it appears to be. However, this hiccup would make sense from a storyline arc considering how (too) easy and breezy this relationship has felt since day one. I don’t think I can speak to this until we see things play out, but for now, Madison is the only woman Peter has declared he officially “loves,” despite her not returning the sentiment. In terms of our Bachelor choosing a woman, at this point, all signs point to Madison.

Hannah Ann, 23

Hannah Ann made a huge stride forward this week, simply because Peter told Hannah Ann he was falling in love with her, even after being warned by Hannah Ann’s father not to use the L-word unless he really meant it. We have to assume Peter probably really did mean it (either that or he’s unnecessarily cruel, which I don’t believe he is). In my books, this L-word moment made Hannah Ann go from being Madison’s second to her close second. The exchange of “Things I Love About You” letters has been very sweet, and the vibe between these two is calm and easy, a welcome respite from Victoria F’s brutal (and seemingly endless) screen time.

Who’s going home next week

Victoria F, 26

Basically, as long as Victoria F is in the running on this season, she’ll be in my “going home next week” column. Not only because Peter has to realize by now that this relationship is going nowhere, but because my blood pressure can’t handle watching her anymore. Peter, the health of your viewers is at stake! Do it for us!

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The post “Peter Is Giving Victoria F Way Too Much Credit”: Sharleen Joynt on The Bachelor Episode 8 appeared first on Flare.

Is There Going to Be a Bachelor-Kardashian Crossover??

(Photos: Getty Images)

Kylie Jenner for The Bachelorette 2020? While the possibility of the lip kit queen gracing our screens as the unlucky-in-love female lead might seem far-fetched, it’s not as implausible as, say, Kanye 2020. Because the Kardashian fam and their friends are already all up in Bachelor nation—mainly via its leading men. In an Instagram video posted to Bach account @its_thesnatchelor, the current Bachelor lead, Peter Weber is seen hanging out at a party with none other than Kylie Jenner. In one video clip—taken from Instagram stories—fans can catch a glimpse of Pilot Pete standing around in a grey shirt with his arms crossed. In another, which features Jenner lounging with a filter over her face (obvi), the Bachelor can be heard talking in the background about someone named Kelley (recently booted contestant Kelley Flanagan, perhaps?).

View this post on Instagram

@pilot_pete is reportedly with Kylie, Stass and Olivia Jade and he’s speaking about @kelleyflanagan. You can see him at the end of the first story and hear him in the second one.

A post shared by The Snatchelor (@its_thesnatchelor) on Feb 13, 2020 at 6:17pm PST

It was only a matter of time before the two reigning reality TV franchises overlapped; at this point I’m expecting to see Pilot Pete pop up on the next season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians—potentially as their private pilot? And honestly, I hate it. I cannot live in a world where The Bachelor and KUWTK intersect. Here’s why.

Let’s be honest, the signs of a The Bachelor-Kardashians crossover are all there

For any of the doubters who think a Bachelor–KUWTK crossover (IRL romantic or on-screen) isn’t in the stars, let me just say: You’re wrong. Because the signs are all there, and they’re neon and flashing. Pilot Pete isn’t the first dude from Bachelor nation to party with the Kardashian/Jenner fam. Peter’s hangout with Kylie comes only a few months after fellow Bachelorette season 15 reject Tyler Cameron was spotted partying with Stormi’s mama. And not only that; Tyler was reportedly seen macking on Kylie’s BFF Anastasia Karanikolaou (a.k.a. Stassie) several different times from November 2019 to January of this year. Plus, in November 2019, Pete, Tyler and Bachelor in Paradise fan fave Dylan Barbour were spotted at an L.A. Rams football game with the same ladies. Not to mention the whole Tyler dating Kendall Jenner’s BFF Gigi Hadid thing.

Read this next: Who Got Cut and Who’s Left Standing on The Bachelor?

So they’re in deep. Plus, Bachelor creator Mike Fleiss has even joked about Khloé Kardashian being the Bachelorette (something she didn’t appreciate at the time, but you just know the franchise would jump at the opportunity if it presented itself).

But this is already the worst decision

Honestly, thank god Khloé said “thank u, next” to even the *thought* of being the next Bachelorette—because this crossover between two of televisions guiltiest pleasures is seriously not it. And Peter’s recent video appearance is the perfect example of why. Throw a C-list celeb—thrust into fame by his willingness to date 30+ women at once and make terrible decisions in the process—into a room with A-list celebs who love partying and documenting said partying on their Insta stories, and you have a mess. Peter was in that room for lord knows *how* long and was already seemingly spilling some piping hot Bach tea (tell me that isn’t breaking some sort of NDA!). These men do not know how to be Kardashian-level discreet! Lest we forget, they’re hanging with the fam that managed to keep Kylie’s entire pregnancy under wraps for nine months.

The Kardashian-Jenners know how to simultaneously always be in the public eye while remaining tight-lipped, a skill that these Bachelor contestants just *don’t* have.

Read this next: Bachelor Peter Is Going to Ruin His Own Dang Season—Here’s Why

Plus, a Bachelor-Kardashians crossover just doesn’t make sense

And also, having Bach nation alums get up close to (and even date) these famous celebs just doesn’t do it for me, because it breaks the whole illusion—and point of—the show: that these are everyday people looking for, and sometimes finding, love with other everyday people (or as everyday as a “Chicken Enthusiast” can be). We already know that people like Gigi Hadid and Kylie Jenner can date and find love with whoever they want—they’re Gigi Hadid and Kylie Jenner! But what about us plebes? I want to sit in front of my TV for three to five hours a week and watch someone who looks (kind of, semi, TBH not really) like me make a mess of their lives and reputations and find love on TV, if only to prove that I myself, a certified mess, can also find love with someone similarly as messy.

Read this next: What the Heck Was That Bachelor Preview About?

Bachelor contestants are *supposed* to be normal and hang out (and date) amongst themselves—not rub elbows with the rich and famous. If I wanted to see the Kardashians chill with C-list celebrities, I’d watch Kim Kardashian West’s Insta stories with Jonathan Cheban.

*Maybe* Peter dating Kylie is the most dramatic, never-before-seen ending to this season that we’ve been promised, and if so, I hate it.

The post Is There Going to Be a Bachelor-Kardashian Crossover?? appeared first on Flare.

Is There Going to Be a Bachelor-Kardashian Crossover??

(Photos: Getty Images)

Kylie Jenner for The Bachelorette 2020? While the possibility of the lip kit queen gracing our screens as the unlucky-in-love female lead might seem far-fetched, it’s not as implausible as, say, Kanye 2020. Because the Kardashian fam and their friends are already all up in Bachelor nation—mainly via its leading men. In an Instagram video posted to Bach account @its_thesnatchelor, the current Bachelor lead, Peter Weber is seen hanging out at a party with none other than Kylie Jenner. In one video clip—taken from Instagram stories—fans can catch a glimpse of Pilot Pete standing around in a grey shirt with his arms crossed. In another, which features Jenner lounging with a filter over her face (obvi), the Bachelor can be heard talking in the background about someone named Kelley (recently booted contestant Kelley Flanagan, perhaps?).

View this post on Instagram

@pilot_pete is reportedly with Kylie, Stass and Olivia Jade and he’s speaking about @kelleyflanagan. You can see him at the end of the first story and hear him in the second one.

A post shared by The Snatchelor (@its_thesnatchelor) on Feb 13, 2020 at 6:17pm PST

It was only a matter of time before the two reigning reality TV franchises overlapped; at this point I’m expecting to see Pilot Pete pop up on the next season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians—potentially as their private pilot? And honestly, I hate it. I cannot live in a world where The Bachelor and KUWTK intersect. Here’s why.

Let’s be honest, the signs of a The Bachelor-Kardashians crossover are all there

For any of the doubters who think a Bachelor–KUWTK crossover (IRL romantic or on-screen) isn’t in the stars, let me just say: You’re wrong. Because the signs are all there, and they’re neon and flashing. Pilot Pete isn’t the first dude from Bachelor nation to party with the Kardashian/Jenner fam. Peter’s hangout with Kylie comes only a few months after fellow Bachelorette season 15 reject Tyler Cameron was spotted partying with Stormi’s mama. And not only that; Tyler was reportedly seen macking on Kylie’s BFF Anastasia Karanikolaou (a.k.a. Stassie) several different times from November 2019 to January of this year. Plus, in November 2019, Pete, Tyler and Bachelor in Paradise fan fave Dylan Barbour were spotted at an L.A. Rams football game with the same ladies. Not to mention the whole Tyler dating Kendall Jenner’s BFF Gigi Hadid thing.

Read this next: Who Got Cut and Who’s Left Standing on The Bachelor?

So they’re in deep. Plus, Bachelor creator Mike Fleiss has even joked about Khloé Kardashian being the Bachelorette (something she didn’t appreciate at the time, but you just know the franchise would jump at the opportunity if it presented itself).

But this is already the worst decision

Honestly, thank god Khloé said “thank u, next” to even the *thought* of being the next Bachelorette—because this crossover between two of televisions guiltiest pleasures is seriously not it. And Peter’s recent video appearance is the perfect example of why. Throw a C-list celeb—thrust into fame by his willingness to date 30+ women at once and make terrible decisions in the process—into a room with A-list celebs who love partying and documenting said partying on their Insta stories, and you have a mess. Peter was in that room for lord knows *how* long and was already seemingly spilling some piping hot Bach tea (tell me that isn’t breaking some sort of NDA!). These men do not know how to be Kardashian-level discreet! Lest we forget, they’re hanging with the fam that managed to keep Kylie’s entire pregnancy under wraps for nine months.

The Kardashian-Jenners know how to simultaneously always be in the public eye while remaining tight-lipped, a skill that these Bachelor contestants just *don’t* have.

Read this next: Bachelor Peter Is Going to Ruin His Own Dang Season—Here’s Why

Plus, a Bachelor-Kardashians crossover just doesn’t make sense

And also, having Bach nation alums get up close to (and even date) these famous celebs just doesn’t do it for me, because it breaks the whole illusion—and point of—the show: that these are everyday people looking for, and sometimes finding, love with other everyday people (or as everyday as a “Chicken Enthusiast” can be). We already know that people like Gigi Hadid and Kylie Jenner can date and find love with whoever they want—they’re Gigi Hadid and Kylie Jenner! But what about us plebes? I want to sit in front of my TV for three to five hours a week and watch someone who looks (kind of, semi, TBH not really) like me make a mess of their lives and reputations and find love on TV, if only to prove that I myself, a certified mess, can also find love with someone similarly as messy.

Read this next: What the Heck Was That Bachelor Preview About?

Bachelor contestants are *supposed* to be normal and hang out (and date) amongst themselves—not rub elbows with the rich and famous. If I wanted to see the Kardashians chill with C-list celebrities, I’d watch Kim Kardashian West’s Insta stories with Jonathan Cheban.

*Maybe* Peter dating Kylie is the most dramatic, never-before-seen ending to this season that we’ve been promised, and if so, I hate it.

The post Is There Going to Be a Bachelor-Kardashian Crossover?? appeared first on Flare.

“It’s Obvious Peter Loves Emotional Women”: Sharleen Joynt on The Bachelor Episode 7

(Photo: ABC)

Even though last night’s episode was wholly predictable and as standard an Episode 7 as we’ve ever seen, I caught myself almost enjoying it. Truthfully, there was absolutely nothing new: Every Episode 7 consists of three 1-on-1 dates, one of which usually ends in one contestant going home. There’s always a Group Date with the remaining three women, complete with one of them displaying signs of confidence only to inevitably be sent home. But after six episodes bursting with facepalm-worthy decisions on Peter’s part, and women speaking to and treating each other terribly, this was a sort of calm after the storm. I was more than happy to let the familiarity of standard, non-stomach-turning Bachelor fare swaddle and comfort me like a weighted blanket.

Don’t get me wrong: Watching Peter send home two of the season’s highest quality women was not particularly pleasant. Natasha has been one of the season’s sharpest ladies and best commentators. Last night, I swear she read my mind through my television screen and somehow verbalized my thoughts to Peter in the moment. Peter’s big plight of the episode (and in a way, the whole season) was wanting to avoid heartbreak at all costs, seeking reassurance from the women that they’re falling for him, that they’re invested in him. But in an ITM, Natasha declared, “He’s my only person but I’m not his only person.” She is, of course, totally correct—Peter’s expecting each women to put all their eggs in his basket despite the fact that he’s still got his eggs dispersed. While I respect Peter’s paranoia about getting heartbroken and not wanting to squander his turn in the driver’s seat, this is simply not something one can demand or expect. He’s seeking complete assurance from these women, demanding their investment in him before he invests back. That’s just not how relationships work. There are no guarantees, only trust and mutual understanding, both of which come from trusting yourself and your gut—something I’m sorry to say doesn’t appear to be Peter’s strong suit. Can you imagine if a man said to a woman, “I’m considering proposing to you one day but, before I get emotionally attached and long before I buy a ring, I first want to make sure you’d say yes.” It’s not a stretch to compare that to what Peter’s doing this season. He has the luxury of choice and is wielding that luxury to hedge his bets. Not a great way to start a mutual, equal, real life-withstanding partnership.

The other high quality woman is, of course, Kelley. I have no doubt many viewers will suddenly dislike Kelley based on last night’s episode, and watching her narrative get turned on its head was certainly interesting. But while editing would have us believe Kelley had suddenly became arrogant towards the other women and flippant towards her relationship with Peter, I didn’t come close to buying what we were being sold. I do, however, believe Kelley was likely more than ready to go when her time came. Because Kelley is a reasonable and intelligent person, she recognized being delegated to the Group Date as the slap in the face it was.

Read this next: Is This the Worst Group of Contestants in Bachelor History?

Look, certain women will always have to end up on that fateful 3-on-1 date—it’s a numbers game and half the women must pull Episode 7’s short straws. However, if the Bachelor really likes you and really wants that extra time with you, he won’t put you through that. Think back to other Bachelor seasons; how many “winners” were left to battle it out on a 3-on-1 date? On my season, eventual winner Nikki Ferrell got her own date in Episode 7. Whitney got her own date on Chris Soules’s season, as did Lauren Bushnell on Ben’s season, as did Vanessa on Nick’s season, as did Lauren Burnham on Arie’s season. Cassie, on Colton’s season, is the only exception, due to the fact she was embroiled in Wrong Reasons rumours and it made for drama between her and Kirpa. In short, if you’re filming The Bachelor and you DON’T get a 1-on-1 date in Episode 7—unless you’re the subject of a Wrong Reasons debate—you can pretty much assume you’re not “winning” your season. Kelley was right to be “annoyed” by this development given Peter’s previous insistence that she open up, that she take their relationship more seriously, that she become invested (in the ways he recognizes, of course—in short, by crying). He insists he wants her to take them seriously yet won’t give her a second date before a potential Hometown? That’s insulting the intelligence of an obviously intelligent woman.

As much as I’ll miss her refreshing honesty and realness, I wasn’t sad to see Kelley leave her Bachelor journey behind; any man who chooses the overwrought rollercoaster that is dating a Victoria F over the consistency and ease that is dating a Kelley simply does not deserve the world’s Kelleys. Not yet, anyway. In this sense, I strongly suspect Peter himself isn’t quite mature or self-assured enough to identify how desirable a woman’s maturity and self-assuredness is. I’m not saying Peter should have chosen Kelley over Victoria F—quite the opposite. I’m saying that Peter’s interest in continuing to pursue a path so fraught with ups and downs and conflict means that he probably isn’t ready for smooth sailing just yet. Experience teaches you more about what you don’t want than what you do. (If you get it right the first time, there’s no need for multiple tries.) I remember a time in my early 20s when a “hard” relationship felt like a worthy, noble pursuit. If it was difficult, surely it was worth the effort! Years of dating taught me that’s not a path worth pursuing after all. Kelley was dead-on in telling Peter, “Not every relationship has to be jumping through hurdles and super hard… it can be easy and fun.” Peter’s answer: “I want this to be more than just fun.” Notice how his response focused on only one word—“fun,” god forbid—rather than the collective meaning behind her words. He can’t recognize how he shouldn’t want difficulty in a relationship, yet he’s the one who’s “ready” for one?

Read this next: Who Got Cut and Who’s Left Standing on The Bachelor Season 24

The irony is that Natasha and Kelley, based on maturity alone, are the two women arguably the most “ready” for commitment, marriage and children. I understand the heart wants what the heart wants and if Peter simply wasn’t feeling it, he shouldn’t have pursued it. But in that case, he should have emphasized less every woman’s “readiness.” He’s going to choose who he chooses, so why put the women he’s NOT going to choose (and all of us watching at home) through the interrogation wringer?

My predictions based on Episode 7 are…

 Madison, 23

The previews tell us Madison’s story will finally hit a bump in the road, but until we see that unfold, she continues to sit pretty at the top of my list (as she has for many weeks now). Madison would still be everyone’s top pick based on her rapport and chemistry with Peter, but the fact that he told her—and only her—that he’s falling in love with her really sealed the deal this week.

Kelsey, 28

Kelsey beats out Hannah Ann for the second spot because, as I pointed out above, she’s more likely to “win” having gotten an Episode 7 date than someone who hadn’t. I do still have my doubts Kelsey will “win” based on the fact that on Night One, her full limo exit wasn’t shown, nor was her first conversation with Peter. However, I agree with Kelley’s perspective on this relationship, which is that Kelsey and Peter have a deep emotional connection. It’s obvious Peter loves emotional women (Hannah Brown is wonderful but unemotional she is not), and Kelsey is very generous in that department.

Hannah Ann, 23

Considering she was the season’s First Impression Rose recipient, Hannah Ann’s arc lost a little steam somewhere along the way. However, I think that could just be a function of her realizing a little late that simply having fun with Peter wasn’t enough—she’d need to cry for Peter to take her seriously. (I wish I were joking.) While this relationship doesn’t appear to me to have the same legs that Madison and Peter’s has, I do think Peter’s attached to Hannah Ann, finds her very attractive, and would have a hard time letting her go.

Who’s going home next week

 Victoria F, 23

Read this next: Why Is Country Music So Obsessed with The Bachelor?

I simply have to believe Peter will get his fill of Victoria F soon, which I suppose means I still have an iota of hope for him, that he can still become the Bachelor I initially thought he was and has the potential to be. He simply seems like he should be smarter than to put up with this relationship’s impossible conversation (I can’t bear to watch these two talk anymore), the constant fretting, the sheer effort it takes for them to just be together. How the hell could this couple withstand legitimate tough times if they can’t even have basic, amicable conversation on a cushy, romantic date? If Peter doesn’t come to this conclusion soon, I’ll have to assume he’s thinking with a different head…the one in his pants. And that would make him the one who’s “not ready.”

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The post “It’s Obvious Peter Loves Emotional Women”: Sharleen Joynt on The Bachelor Episode 7 appeared first on Flare.

“It’s Obvious Peter Loves Emotional Women”: Sharleen Joynt on The Bachelor Episode 7

(Photo: ABC)

Even though last night’s episode was wholly predictable and as standard an Episode 7 as we’ve ever seen, I caught myself almost enjoying it. Truthfully, there was absolutely nothing new: Every Episode 7 consists of three 1-on-1 dates, one of which usually ends in one contestant going home. There’s always a Group Date with the remaining three women, complete with one of them displaying signs of confidence only to inevitably be sent home. But after six episodes bursting with facepalm-worthy decisions on Peter’s part, and women speaking to and treating each other terribly, this was a sort of calm after the storm. I was more than happy to let the familiarity of standard, non-stomach-turning Bachelor fare swaddle and comfort me like a weighted blanket.

Don’t get me wrong: Watching Peter send home two of the season’s highest quality women was not particularly pleasant. Natasha has been one of the season’s sharpest ladies and best commentators. Last night, I swear she read my mind through my television screen and somehow verbalized my thoughts to Peter in the moment. Peter’s big plight of the episode (and in a way, the whole season) was wanting to avoid heartbreak at all costs, seeking reassurance from the women that they’re falling for him, that they’re invested in him. But in an ITM, Natasha declared, “He’s my only person but I’m not his only person.” She is, of course, totally correct—Peter’s expecting each women to put all their eggs in his basket despite the fact that he’s still got his eggs dispersed. While I respect Peter’s paranoia about getting heartbroken and not wanting to squander his turn in the driver’s seat, this is simply not something one can demand or expect. He’s seeking complete assurance from these women, demanding their investment in him before he invests back. That’s just not how relationships work. There are no guarantees, only trust and mutual understanding, both of which come from trusting yourself and your gut—something I’m sorry to say doesn’t appear to be Peter’s strong suit. Can you imagine if a man said to a woman, “I’m considering proposing to you one day but, before I get emotionally attached and long before I buy a ring, I first want to make sure you’d say yes.” It’s not a stretch to compare that to what Peter’s doing this season. He has the luxury of choice and is wielding that luxury to hedge his bets. Not a great way to start a mutual, equal, real life-withstanding partnership.

The other high quality woman is, of course, Kelley. I have no doubt many viewers will suddenly dislike Kelley based on last night’s episode, and watching her narrative get turned on its head was certainly interesting. But while editing would have us believe Kelley had suddenly became arrogant towards the other women and flippant towards her relationship with Peter, I didn’t come close to buying what we were being sold. I do, however, believe Kelley was likely more than ready to go when her time came. Because Kelley is a reasonable and intelligent person, she recognized being delegated to the Group Date as the slap in the face it was.

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Look, certain women will always have to end up on that fateful 3-on-1 date—it’s a numbers game and half the women must pull Episode 7’s short straws. However, if the Bachelor really likes you and really wants that extra time with you, he won’t put you through that. Think back to other Bachelor seasons; how many “winners” were left to battle it out on a 3-on-1 date? On my season, eventual winner Nikki Ferrell got her own date in Episode 7. Whitney got her own date on Chris Soules’s season, as did Lauren Bushnell on Ben’s season, as did Vanessa on Nick’s season, as did Lauren Burnham on Arie’s season. Cassie, on Colton’s season, is the only exception, due to the fact she was embroiled in Wrong Reasons rumours and it made for drama between her and Kirpa. In short, if you’re filming The Bachelor and you DON’T get a 1-on-1 date in Episode 7—unless you’re the subject of a Wrong Reasons debate—you can pretty much assume you’re not “winning” your season. Kelley was right to be “annoyed” by this development given Peter’s previous insistence that she open up, that she take their relationship more seriously, that she become invested (in the ways he recognizes, of course—in short, by crying). He insists he wants her to take them seriously yet won’t give her a second date before a potential Hometown? That’s insulting the intelligence of an obviously intelligent woman.

As much as I’ll miss her refreshing honesty and realness, I wasn’t sad to see Kelley leave her Bachelor journey behind; any man who chooses the overwrought rollercoaster that is dating a Victoria F over the consistency and ease that is dating a Kelley simply does not deserve the world’s Kelleys. Not yet, anyway. In this sense, I strongly suspect Peter himself isn’t quite mature or self-assured enough to identify how desirable a woman’s maturity and self-assuredness is. I’m not saying Peter should have chosen Kelley over Victoria F—quite the opposite. I’m saying that Peter’s interest in continuing to pursue a path so fraught with ups and downs and conflict means that he probably isn’t ready for smooth sailing just yet. Experience teaches you more about what you don’t want than what you do. (If you get it right the first time, there’s no need for multiple tries.) I remember a time in my early 20s when a “hard” relationship felt like a worthy, noble pursuit. If it was difficult, surely it was worth the effort! Years of dating taught me that’s not a path worth pursuing after all. Kelley was dead-on in telling Peter, “Not every relationship has to be jumping through hurdles and super hard… it can be easy and fun.” Peter’s answer: “I want this to be more than just fun.” Notice how his response focused on only one word—“fun,” god forbid—rather than the collective meaning behind her words. He can’t recognize how he shouldn’t want difficulty in a relationship, yet he’s the one who’s “ready” for one?

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The irony is that Natasha and Kelley, based on maturity alone, are the two women arguably the most “ready” for commitment, marriage and children. I understand the heart wants what the heart wants and if Peter simply wasn’t feeling it, he shouldn’t have pursued it. But in that case, he should have emphasized less every woman’s “readiness.” He’s going to choose who he chooses, so why put the women he’s NOT going to choose (and all of us watching at home) through the interrogation wringer?

My predictions based on Episode 7 are…

 Madison, 23

The previews tell us Madison’s story will finally hit a bump in the road, but until we see that unfold, she continues to sit pretty at the top of my list (as she has for many weeks now). Madison would still be everyone’s top pick based on her rapport and chemistry with Peter, but the fact that he told her—and only her—that he’s falling in love with her really sealed the deal this week.

Kelsey, 28

Kelsey beats out Hannah Ann for the second spot because, as I pointed out above, she’s more likely to “win” having gotten an Episode 7 date than someone who hadn’t. I do still have my doubts Kelsey will “win” based on the fact that on Night One, her full limo exit wasn’t shown, nor was her first conversation with Peter. However, I agree with Kelley’s perspective on this relationship, which is that Kelsey and Peter have a deep emotional connection. It’s obvious Peter loves emotional women (Hannah Brown is wonderful but unemotional she is not), and Kelsey is very generous in that department.

Hannah Ann, 23

Considering she was the season’s First Impression Rose recipient, Hannah Ann’s arc lost a little steam somewhere along the way. However, I think that could just be a function of her realizing a little late that simply having fun with Peter wasn’t enough—she’d need to cry for Peter to take her seriously. (I wish I were joking.) While this relationship doesn’t appear to me to have the same legs that Madison and Peter’s has, I do think Peter’s attached to Hannah Ann, finds her very attractive, and would have a hard time letting her go.

Who’s going home next week

 Victoria F, 26

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I simply have to believe Peter will get his fill of Victoria F soon, which I suppose means I still have an iota of hope for him, that he can still become the Bachelor I initially thought he was and has the potential to be. He simply seems like he should be smarter than to put up with this relationship’s impossible conversation (I can’t bear to watch these two talk anymore), the constant fretting, the sheer effort it takes for them to just be together. How the hell could this couple withstand legitimate tough times if they can’t even have basic, amicable conversation on a cushy, romantic date? If Peter doesn’t come to this conclusion soon, I’ll have to assume he’s thinking with a different head…the one in his pants. And that would make him the one who’s “not ready.”

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The post “It’s Obvious Peter Loves Emotional Women”: Sharleen Joynt on The Bachelor Episode 7 appeared first on Flare.